Let’s start from the beginning. My name is Paul. I’m a 28 year old man who’s married to his longtime girlfriend and best friend, Kara. Last year, we decided it was about time for us to buy a house and start our family, with a baby in mind. When we moved in, everything was planned around our future son/daughter: “This will be his/her room”, “We must buy this and that” and so on. What happened then was a series of unfortunate events:
My Medical Condition
One day, I was literally so sick I couldn’t move from my bed. The day after, I felt completely normal, so I decided to go to my doctor just to check what was going on. He advised an andrological exam where it was discovered that I was sterile and my hormones were on the edge of a breakdown. I was devastated: not only for me, but for Kara and our family too, since having a baby was the most important thing for me at that time.
I remember the day I sat down and told her, “I’m sterile. I am a failure. We can’t be a family and I’m sorry”, all while crying like a baby. She hugged me, looked at me and said: “It’s alright, that doesn’t mean that you aren’t ready to be a dad”.
The Adoption Process
The next thing that we did after that night was go on Google and see how long and how hard it would be for us to adopt a child. We literally called, sent emails and spoke with people for a month. After a couple of weeks, we were contacted by the adoption agency for a meeting and everything went incredibly well. Our homestudy said we were responsible, strongly in love and ready for this big step (and a lot of other boring legal stuff that I won’t include in this story!).
A good note on the whole process is that everyone, from social workers to judges, were nice, friendly and professional.
Kara said to me multiple times that, “It’s like being pregnant without the physical part!”, especially when we were staying up until 4 am to finish all the applications, references and other paperwork. I remember passing out one cold night, exhausted, and Kara covering me with bedsheets. It was stressful, but I think it helped us to get even closer than before.
It’s Greg’s Day!
Greg is a Syrian boy whose parents died when he was born and he’s two now. In our house, every day is Greg’s day, since the guy is an absolute lad! He likes basketball games a lot, even though he doesn’t understand what’s going on. He’s speaking, learning new things, listening to a lot of Hendrix (because you have to train them since they’re young, am I right?) and most of all, he’s being loved every day.
Discovering that I was sterile was one the darkest days of my life and I wish no one the same pain I felt. Now, with Greg and Kara by my side, I’m finally able to say that I know, for real, what family means.
About the Family
Paul Matthews is a freelance business writer and full time dad in Manchester, using various sources, in particular Reddit and Forbes. His aim is to better inform business owners and professionals on the potential of the internet, while he’s still following the fostering allowance business. You can often find him mountain biking or at the local library.